Having Trouble Meditating?

For so long, I didn’t understand why I felt so much resistance to certain healing modalities such as stillness and meditation.

I would try to create a routine in the morning, and found myself wanting to do anything but that. I would find excuses- I didn’t have time, I didn’t feel well enough, etc. And if I did do it, I couldn’t last more than a minute. Zillions of thoughts would swirl around my head, a song would be playing in the background of my mind, I would feel restless, and then my inner-critic would start judging me for all of this- “You’re not doing it right!”

And then I realized why. My nervous system was programmed to keep myself distracted so I could be safe. The thought of taking quiet time with myself felt terrifying. What would come up? What would I feel? What would I discover? My ego was like, “No thanks.” It was terrified of the growth and breakthroughs, and ultimately change and transformation that comes along with these tools. And the ego doesn’t like change.

It’s been a process, but as I have healed my nervous system through breathwork and somatic work, and have reprogrammed my brain with PSYCH-K®, I now (most days at least- I’m not perfect!) look forward to quiet time and stillness in the morning and before I go to bed.

I have felt what it feels like to totally sink into my body and feel safe and comfortable. What it feels like to observe my thoughts and emotions without becoming overpowered by them. What it feels like to accept the noise and chaos in my head without judging it.

So for everyone feeling resistance to meditation and stillness- you are not alone! And there’s nothing wrong with you. Regulating your nervous system to feel ready for stillness and meditation is not an overnight process - it takes time.

But know that it’s totally possible. We always have the ability to heal and adapt. And we are so powerful!