Accessing Our Inner Wisdom

I’ve always loved learning. 

I’ve loved reading books, listening to podcasts, going to workshops and trainings. 

But there became a point when I realized that by constantly consuming information from others around me, I was neglecting to access the wisdom inside of myself. 

It felt unsafe and scary to sit in stillness. To listen to my body and ask my body questions. To create time and space for what wanted to create and express from within. 

If I did this, there was fear around what would come up. What if emotions came up that were too big, too scary, too intense? What if my body/intuition wanted me to do something that I didn’t want to do? What if I took action and it wasn’t received well? What if I failed? Oh the spirals and journeys our minds can take us on!

And I realized that the constant stream of outside information became a survival strategy for me to avoid connecting to myself and avoid stepping outside of my comfort zone and taking action. 

I started creating intentional time to connect with myself each day. I started doing a few minutes of breathwork in the morning. Taking a bath at night. As time went on, I was able to tune in and see what my body wanted. A walk? To bake? To just sit outside in the sun? To ground?

And connecting to my body became a little less scary. A little more natural. 

I began to trust my body more. To develop a relationship and check in with her. 

Connecting to ourselves can feel scary and overwhelming at times, especially if we’ve had trauma and/or chronic illness. 

But the key is small doable steps. 

Redefining “Meditation”

For so long I thought meditation meant sitting still in one position, in silence, observing my thoughts. 

Sometimes I was able to do it. Most of the time I wasn’t. 

I noticed that I felt the most relaxed, creative, and out of my head when I was doing more “active” things- like breathwork, sound healing, dancing, baking, walking, doing a jigsaw puzzle, coloring.

All of these activities gave my mind something else to focus on, so I was more easily a lot to get out of my head and drop more into my body. 

Meditation can look like:

Sports

Running 

Going to the gym

Baking

Breathwork 

Dancing 

Singing

Drawing

Creating art 

(Really anything that helps you get out of your mind and more into the body)

Having Trouble Meditating?

For so long, I didn’t understand why I felt so much resistance to certain healing modalities such as stillness and meditation.

I would try to create a routine in the morning, and found myself wanting to do anything but that. I would find excuses- I didn’t have time, I didn’t feel well enough, etc. And if I did do it, I couldn’t last more than a minute. Zillions of thoughts would swirl around my head, a song would be playing in the background of my mind, I would feel restless, and then my inner-critic would start judging me for all of this- “You’re not doing it right!”

And then I realized why. My nervous system was programmed to keep myself distracted so I could be safe. The thought of taking quiet time with myself felt terrifying. What would come up? What would I feel? What would I discover? My ego was like, “No thanks.” It was terrified of the growth and breakthroughs, and ultimately change and transformation that comes along with these tools. And the ego doesn’t like change.

It’s been a process, but as I have healed my nervous system through breathwork and somatic work, and have reprogrammed my brain with PSYCH-K®, I now (most days at least- I’m not perfect!) look forward to quiet time and stillness in the morning and before I go to bed.

I have felt what it feels like to totally sink into my body and feel safe and comfortable. What it feels like to observe my thoughts and emotions without becoming overpowered by them. What it feels like to accept the noise and chaos in my head without judging it.

So for everyone feeling resistance to meditation and stillness- you are not alone! And there’s nothing wrong with you. Regulating your nervous system to feel ready for stillness and meditation is not an overnight process - it takes time.

But know that it’s totally possible. We always have the ability to heal and adapt. And we are so powerful!