Waking Up From “Autopilot” Mode

For most of my life, I lived how I thought I should. I made “responsible” decisions. 

I didn’t actually know what I wanted, so I lived life on autopilot, moving through each day, each week, each month in a way that felt stable and secure. And while there were obstacles, I kept on going. I did things because I thought I should. I got tenure at my job. I got married. I thought I was happy. 

Then I got really sick and my whole world crumbled down. I could barely get out of bed. I had to go on medical leave from my job. I had to use my savings on medical treatments. I ended up getting a divorce. And moving several times. I went back to work part-time and got laid off. 

The next few years felt like a mix of chaotic events that forced me to get to know myself more and decide, for the first time in my life, what I really wanted. 

In order to create this new life, I had to learn to get in touch with my intuition and really trust my own guidance system as I made decisions and choices that I know looked “crazy” on the outside. 

I moved from NY (where I had lived my whole life) to Florida, leaving behind friends and family and only knowing a couple of family members. 

I used my savings studying a lot of modalities that helped me heal, so I could help others. 

I rented an apartment before finding a job, because it felt right and I felt very strongly it would show up shortly after (which it did.)

I learned to trust my intuition and trust life, even when it felt like things weren’t making sense. Even when it felt like I was making “irresponsible” decisions. 

As I continue to create a new life that is exactly what I want, on my own terms, I look back and realize why all of the shake-ups were there. They were painful. They were hard- unbearable at times. But they were there to shift me out of my comfort zone. To have me experience new situations. To have me meet new people. To completely catapult me out of my autopilot life into the life of my dreams.