How Do We “Let Go?”

We live in a society where we are taught to let go, move on, start new. Forgive.

People say “Let it go”, as if we should just visualize whatever we want to let go of drifting away, out of our bodies and our minds. Sometimes this is all we need. But sometimes it doesn’t work. And let’s normalize that.

While yes- it’s unhealthy to hold onto these states and emotions for long periods of time, it’s also unhealthy to shove down and ignore the emotions coming up around the situation.

Sometimes letting go is a process, not a decision.

Our body holds onto trauma. “Trauma” could be one time in our childhood when we were yelled at, or witnessed something we couldn’t process, or felt left out or embarrassed. It’s not always a major event.

During these moments, our body created a way to stay safe, because our bodies didn’t have the capacity to process what was going on. Sometimes we may have created coping mechanisms as a way to stay safe- people pleasing, avoidance, overworking, etc. We may have learned to suppress emotions.

We can “let go” in our minds, but if we haven’t processed the emotions and integrated the parts of us still stuck in survival strategies, we are still going to feel lingering emotions in our body around the situations that are keeping us stuck. This can lead to passive-aggressive behavior, resentment, and avoidance. And stuck emotions can also cause physical symptoms.

Letting go is a process. A process of awareness- of becoming aware of the parts of us that are creating resistance because letting go doesn’t feel safe. A process of establishing more safety in the body so we can let go of deeper layers. A process of fully feeling the emotions that come up. A process of allowing our bodies to release at the pace and timing that is best- knowing that this process is determined by the timeline in our body- not only our mind.