What If- Sometimes- Being in “Victim Mentality” Is a Necessary Part of the Healing Process?

Let’s talk about victim mentality.

There’s tons of mindset talk out there about getting out of victim mentality- letting go, forgiving, rising up, choosing better thoughts. 

All of this is important and helpful.

AND for people who have experienced unprocessed abuse and trauma, telling them to get out of victim mentality is actually equivalent to telling them to bypass their reality- their experience and their emotions.

Being in victim mentality can be part of the healing process. Sometimes our nervous system can be in such a deep freeze that when we finally feel safe enough for it to start “thawing out,” we may go from feeling numb to feeling the powerlessness, the helplessness, the anger, the rage, the unfairness, the shame, and the guilt before we can start to truly heal.

This is the time we learn to safely feel and process our emotions- to allow ourselves to feel anger if we always suppressed it, to learn to set boundaries, to stand up for ourselves- all which ultimately helps us take our power back.