Lauren Friedwald Lauren Friedwald

Understanding Shame

I don’t think I truly understood what shame felt like in my body until I realized it was the “cringe” feeling I often experienced.

When I was embarrassed, awkward, felt self-conscious, insecure, wanted to hide, was overthinking and overplaying scenarios in my head. 

I don’t think I truly understood what shame felt like in my body until I realized it was the “cringe” feeling I often experienced.

When I was embarrassed, awkward, felt self-conscious, insecure, wanted to hide, was overthinking and overplaying scenarios in my head. 

I felt shame for who I was. What happened to me. What I did to others, even if I didn’t intentionally mean to hurt them. 

There was so much shame behind every part of me that I repressed, held back, couldn’t embrace. 

This shame was woven into my identity, causing me to repress so many parts of myself. 

Understanding shame brought so many epiphanies into my life. Family rules, societal rules are built around shame. If we don’t comply with these “rules,” it could feel like rejection and death- because in the past, being rejected from our families or from society could have literally resulted in death. We feel this from our ancestors, and from the collective today- as this still goes on in some parts of the world.

Shame is there to keep us feeling “safe,” and “connected,” but it also keeps us stuck and prevents us from being free. From embracing all of our parts. From being our true selves. 

Bringing awareness to our shame, and liberating these parts of us can be extremely challenging, but it is this that allows us to be in our true power. 

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