Understanding Shame

I don’t think I truly understood what shame felt like in my body until I realized it was the “cringe” feeling I often experienced.

When I was embarrassed, awkward, felt self-conscious, insecure, wanted to hide, was overthinking and overplaying scenarios in my head. 

I felt shame for who I was. What happened to me. What I did to others, even if I didn’t intentionally mean to hurt them. 

There was so much shame behind every part of me that I repressed, held back, couldn’t embrace. 

This shame was woven into my identity, causing me to repress so many parts of myself. 

Understanding shame brought so many epiphanies into my life. Family rules, societal rules are built around shame. If we don’t comply with these “rules,” it could feel like rejection and death- because in the past, being rejected from our families or from society could have literally resulted in death. We feel this from our ancestors, and from the collective today- as this still goes on in some parts of the world.

Shame is there to keep us feeling “safe,” and “connected,” but it also keeps us stuck and prevents us from being free. From embracing all of our parts. From being our true selves. 

Bringing awareness to our shame, and liberating these parts of us can be extremely challenging, but it is this that allows us to be in our true power. 

Embracing Emotions as a Key to Liberation

I used to be afraid my my emotions. 

They seemed too overwhelming, too overpowering. Too uncomfortable. I was afraid to feel.  I was afraid to let go of control. 

They were messy and unpredictable. I didn’t like messy and unpredictable- I liked neat, controlled boxes. 

I suppressed them. I held them in. I pushed them away. I resisted them. 

And then the dam broke and it all came out. And I finally learned that:

My emotions are messengers. For parts of me that want to be seen. That want to be heard. That want to know they matter. 

My emotions are teachers, teaching me more about myself than I’ve ever known. They teach me about my triggers, my shadows, my limiting beliefs. 

My emotions are connectors, showing me how to connect and listen to my body on even deeper levels. 

My emotions are healers- showing me where I need to heal. Showing me what I’m missing. 

My emotions are my path to freedom. 

Pic: @timdajan @emotionalreleases