Using Gratitude to Bypass Healing

I discovered the power of gratitude years ago, when I got really sick with Lyme, coinfections, mold toxicity, and everything else that comes along with it.

At the time, I was too sick to leave my apartment for anything other than doctor appointments. I started keeping a gratitude journal. Every night before bed I would write down a few things I was grateful for that day. It helped me to retrain my brain to find good things each day at a time when I hit rock-bottom.

I began to realize how powerful gratitude was, and I started thinking OK, maybe I should be grateful for everything that’s showing up in my life, because it’s teaching me lessons, and it’s triggering me so that I could have more awareness and grow and heal on deeper levels. And yes, all of this is true. I do have gratitude for everything I’ve been through.

And, but- I was using gratitude to bypass the deeper healing. I noticed that when difficult things were happening in my life, and the emotions became too overwhelming, I would tell myself “I should feel grateful for this experience.” I was using gratitude to avoid doing the deeper healing, which involves feeling, allowing, and processing intense emotions.

I learned that while gratitude is super powerful, I can’t use it to control my healing- to speed things up because I want to make things better more quickly.

I have been learning to hold both- gratitude AND emotional healing. Gratitude AND acknowledgement that life can be challenging, and there’s nothing wrong with me for feeling that way. Gratitude AND taking all the time I need to heal. Gratitude AND support because sometimes it’s too much to process alone. Gratitude AND compassion for myself.