The Power of Being Seen and Accepted

On my usual walk the other day, I stopped to talk with my homeless friend. In the middle of the conversation he said “You are a gift from God. I was in a rough place and it feels like you are an angel coming to me at exactly the right time.” I didn’t do anything special. I just gave him acknowledgment and attention. 

This made me think of a need we all have. To be seen and accepted- for exactly who we are. It sounds so simple, yet we live in a world with so much judgment, so much expectation, so much disconnection and distraction from the present moment. We live in a world where we place expectations on people and then get disappointed when they don’t live up to them. We live in a world of “shoulds.” A world where we place people in boxes to make ourselves feel more safe. We live in a world where it’s easier to be “right” than to take the time to truly understand others and where they are coming from. 

And it made me realize the big shifts that can occur when we are given the space to be acknowledged, seen, heard, and accepted. The amount of safety, growth and clarity that comes with that. The permission it gives us to be who we truly are. The knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are. The freedom that comes with the knowing that’s it’s safe and welcome to be our true self. The amount of space it gives us to do the same for others. And the magnitude this ripple effect could have. 

This made me feel so grateful for the wonderful people in my life who show up with unconditional acceptance, who always hold the space for me feel seen and heard. To be fully appreciated for who I am and what I bring to the connection. 

Using Gratitude to Bypass Healing

I discovered the power of gratitude years ago, when I got really sick with Lyme, coinfections, mold toxicity, and everything else that comes along with it.

At the time, I was too sick to leave my apartment for anything other than doctor appointments. I started keeping a gratitude journal. Every night before bed I would write down a few things I was grateful for that day. It helped me to retrain my brain to find good things each day at a time when I hit rock-bottom.

I began to realize how powerful gratitude was, and I started thinking OK, maybe I should be grateful for everything that’s showing up in my life, because it’s teaching me lessons, and it’s triggering me so that I could have more awareness and grow and heal on deeper levels. And yes, all of this is true. I do have gratitude for everything I’ve been through.

And, but- I was using gratitude to bypass the deeper healing. I noticed that when difficult things were happening in my life, and the emotions became too overwhelming, I would tell myself “I should feel grateful for this experience.” I was using gratitude to avoid doing the deeper healing, which involves feeling, allowing, and processing intense emotions.

I learned that while gratitude is super powerful, I can’t use it to control my healing- to speed things up because I want to make things better more quickly.

I have been learning to hold both- gratitude AND emotional healing. Gratitude AND acknowledgement that life can be challenging, and there’s nothing wrong with me for feeling that way. Gratitude AND taking all the time I need to heal. Gratitude AND support because sometimes it’s too much to process alone. Gratitude AND compassion for myself.